I'm concentrating hard on translating my euro-vinyl release on SOUND BASE MUSIC (10 yr contract I signed) under my gabber alias EMO HEADACHE into a successful endeavor...
It's all about the 'endeavors' of my musical ambitions,
and seeing if somehow I can play a gigantic stadium like my hero GIRL TALK. He started out as a noise musician, and was able to translate that punk scene in NOISE GENRE to a gigantic stadium performance act... With my C&C INC. stuff, I succeeded beyond my wildest dreams (residency at SOUTHLAND BALLROOM RALEIGH NC & PIRATE RADIO ON A LONDON SITE ALONGSIDE IMPERIAL CRU), and I tell you - Disc Jockeying ain't all it's made out to be...
people think that when you DJ, it's like this big deal and the caviar and champagne never stop bubbling in the VIP room, however I'll tell you that despite the good reputation in that city as a reputable DJ there is a lot to Performing a live mix - amongst them, seeing myself after a loooong time of no selfies or crowd shots whatsoever on cam up there under the blinding lights wearing my punk biker's jacket, little stars of light beaming off the metal pins & zipper, and realizing - man, there's no wonder I got the girl! This little 19 year old punk chic came up to me after my set at an imperial show and said plainly after playing sickboy tweencore, dnb and some of my punk mash up originals that "You are better than these ravers, you aRE DOING SOMETHING TRULY PUNK..." i STILL REMEMBER THAT LITTLE SCENE GRRRL at southland, VIP status etc. bumping and winding all over me in front of all the lemming nobodies... I've never been that close to a punk grrrl in MY LIFE!!!
Eventually I met a girl and never chilled with her again... :(
There's a reason for that - my newfound girlfriend was soooo jealous that at a houseparty I was DJing off NC State Campus she walked up to me DJing, slapped me in the face in front of a crowd of party people, and unplugged the DJ rig - just for making conversation with a chick I didn't even know while I was spinning CD's.... It was like PARTY- STOP!!!
But I still remember that little 19 year old punk,
and as a punk - I don't always feel as comfortable in my own skin as perhaps I should...
There are punks like me everywhere... Anyone who know's me knows I rinse that leather biker's jacket...
I went to a dive in R-Dot (RUFF ROLLY CRU WOT WOT!!!),
and it was clear as a midnight cloudless sky with that moon hangin bright and low as it's want to do in the Old North State (NC, USA),
-about 15 or 20 other dive bar attendees ALL WEARING BIKER'S JACKETS!!! I was leik,
"Wow, I'm not the only one wearing heavy punk jackets during the daytime!"
But that little punk chick,
who she said knew LEFTOVER CRACK,
gave me the strength to say, "My Emo Headache gabber tracks ARE punk!"
All from her responding to what amounts to HARDSTYLE tracks and my originals - I mean, everyone sets out to do something PUNK, but it's always so far removed. You don't know if it's as unlistenable as many americans feel it as, or if it really is good DIY punk production.
That little frill haired punk chic,
she gave me hope that there were punks out there who would be into what I have to play/DJ/release~!
Never kissed her,
never fucked her,
but she came up to me at KATMANDU,
and said "You're better than these garbage pail e tard ravers..."
all from playing sickboy's tweencore!!!
I mean, I know I always thought that it was pretty punk to do a hardstyle kick experimentally, but it was her openness to youth movement oriented music that gave me the strength to power through! I know there are other youth movement scene punks out there justm like me, and just like her~
So with that,
I'm celebrating my punk remix project - EMO HEADACHE - finally making it to vinyl, which really makes my miniscule traffic pon di web feel unimportant... I will have this one shot,
and if the album (6 tracker [breakcore style]) takes off,
I know there are enough punk oriented music fans in the world to turn this 'foot in the door' with SOUND BASE MUSIC into something...
well...
something big (a man can dream)! I mean,
I want it to be really really big! So if the limited press flies off the shelves, then I'll be one step closer to being the next girl talk-esque punk producer to cross over into stadium events... It's not likely, but a man can dream...
At this point in 'computer music's' herstory,
there is soooooo much of it,
it would seem unlikely to get anywhere beyond digi release - which are lucrative in their own way once one gets distro - but that one punk chic who told me she really really liked my DJ set,
that's more rewarding than even some of the shows I threw or opened for under CLIP & CARBINE (glitch mob, odi, agent orange, dev paradox, etc.),
b/c one thing about post-dubstep computer music is,
there is a lot of innovation and gnu ideas,
and a lot of young people getting into dubstep will continue to grow with the music,
so the music will get far far better,
as long as these kids don't give up on it.
Punk computer music, aesthetically, is something to strive for.
But yet,
as elitists in live instrumentation will smugly self endow all of music fandom,
it's not ACTUALLY punk.
Rock & Roll is about playing yr instrument in yr band onstage - and using that same skill in the studio to make punk albums... That's not DJing.
DJing is - according to one satanist punk I grew up with - stuntin' like yr hard & thinking yr cool for playing other people's music. So there are a lot of DnB etc. acts who seek to get out of the DJing thing and do LIVE SETS, rite?
I can see that,
but I started out a mixer jockeying vinyl and then dubplates pon Compact Disque,
and I'd say that mixing two sources of audio live is hard to do - always has been (it's essentially a balancing act that you either walk the line or fall without a safety net with)... no it's not nearly as hard as playing a well done live honky tonk/rock & roll band oriented performance... but it is a thing...
nowadays none even bother buying music!!!
I've seen these rinky dink pot heads do MIXES ON YOUTUBE.
I've heard how ungodly it sounds,
and how pathetic, musically, we've become as a global community!
Guitar aficionados, Dubstep DJ cliques, Vocalists who want to see their vocals make it in music?
they're a dime a dozen nowadays...
But doing my punk rawk idm/gabber for about 10 years now under EMO HEADACHE,
I'm happy to say that - while I still don't have a cute punk chic to have kiss up on me in front of nobodies downtown - I have achieved at least marginal success as a composer. My blacklisted albums are pointless... but folks heard them, some albums getting upwards of 15 20k downloads... SO i'd say by sticking to my Mcluhanesque understanding of the massage (mass age) as he described it, and a man of my religious faith - JOHN CAGE - and his indeterminacy technique for composing to the best of my ability - I think I've created a musical catalogue worthy of nothing but the best in PUNK, as such!
With that being said,
I can only say one thing:
"I have raped and abused and tortured soooo many punk/rock/metal sounds, I can assure all of my readers - I will almost certainly receive my savage jello biafra beating. And when I do,
I'll look up at those savagely beating me for remixing classic punk,
and I'll yell: 'CHOKE ON IT!!! CHOKE ON IT!!!! CHOKE ON IT!!!!!'"
Honestly,
getting beaten doesn't really bother me that much... as long as I dont get an avulsion or sommet no hard no foul!
So to that little punk chick from 10 years ago who believed in my punk rawk style Disc Jockeying,
I want to say:
"OMG if I'd have just patiently waited to court you alongside all yr other suitors and not ditched you for the girl I did (classy girls don't make out at bars you fool I keep telling myself), I would actually have gotten close to achieving my dream relationship... Someone who actually believes in me and my 'endeavors'!
RIP girly girl
here's my E.H. punk break sample pack - download -
s'all about di endeavors... lol TGIFUCKINGFRIDAY CRU!!!
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